


Everything I couldn't Say

by strangestolive



Series: Cute x3 [5]
Category: IT (2017)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 07:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13585299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangestolive/pseuds/strangestolive
Summary: Richie is shit with his words so he has to come up with a different way to tell Eddie how he feels. Luckily Beverly Marsh is a genius.





	Everything I couldn't Say

**Author's Note:**

> this came to me while I was laying wide awake suffering from insomnia late at night! hope you enjoy it! the mixtape can be found on my tumblr totaltozier!  
> thanks to my jana for being my beta!

Richie had known Eddie for most of their lives. After being put in the same class in third grade and assigned seats next to each other, the pair were quick to become best friends. Countless playdates and nights of Richie sneaking into Eddie’s room after curfew lead the two becoming the closest pair of friends, despite their almost opposite personalities. Somehow the two just worked.

Almost nine years later, the two boys were still best friends although a fuzzy feeling in Richie’s chest lead him to think differently. Richie had been completely infatuated with Eddie ever since they met, thinking he was _cute, cute, cute_ the second he first laid eyes on him but now Eddie was all grown up and it was a different kind of _cute, cute, cute_. It was more of a _holy shit you’re fucking beautiful_ every time he looked at him.

Richie knew he was in love with Eddie, that much he was sure of, but he had no idea how to tell him or if he could even tell him at all.

“He probably doesn’t even like me back, I mean, come on why would he?” Richie said to Beverly as he exhaled the smoke from his cigarette. The two were sitting on her fire escape after school, their feet dangling off the edge as they passed a smoke back and forth.

“Don’t say that, you’re quite the catch mister.” Beverly comforted as she stole the cigarette back from him. She lifted it to her mouth to take a drag. “He’s got no reason not to like you back.”

Richie let out a small laugh. “I make jokes about fucking his mom more than not, I think that’s a valid reason not to like me.”

“He knows you’re joking around.” She took another drag. “Have you thought about just telling him how you feel instead of just dancing around the subject?”

“Now that’s a joke if I ever did hear one!” Richie took the smoke from her once again. She raised an eyebrow at him quizzically. “Of course, I’ve thought about it, but you and I both know that I’m shit at saying the right thing. I’d probably screw things up.”

“I can’t disagree with that one, sorry honey.” Beverly apologized. Richie just shrugged and the two sat in silence, letting the smoke float amongst them. Richie began to hum a tune softly to fill the silence, creating a spark in Beverly’s mind. “I have an idea.” She looked at Richie with a grin.

“Is it a good one this time?” Richie pushed.

She gave him a gentle nudge with her shoulder. “All my ideas are good ones! This one is brilliant though.” Richie raised an eyebrow skeptically but didn’t say anything, giving her the go away to explain herself. “Since you’re shit at words but great with music, just make Eddie a mixtape explaining how you feel.”

Richie blinked at the red headed genius in front of him. How could he not have thought of the idea himself? He was always sitting at his desk making pointless mixtapes for himself and the other losers to enjoy.

“Eddie doesn’t like anything I listen to though. I mean there’s a few songs he’d like but what if he hates it all?” Richie worried.

“Then put a few songs he’d like on there.” Beverly said obviously. “Just as long as you get your point across, it doesn’t really matter who sings what, Richie.”

Richie let the idea sit in his mind for a moment. This idea could either be perfect or completely stupid, but it was worth the try. “Beverly Marsh, my girl you are brilliant!” Richie said as he stood up to climb down from the fire escape. “I’m going to do it,” he hopped down onto the grass below. “But if it doesn’t work, then I’m blaming it all on you!” He called up at her. He watched as she shook her head at him despite the smile on her face before mounting his bike and pedaling away towards home.

Richie rushed up to his room, dismissing the calls from his parents asking how his day at school was and shouting back that he’d tell them about it later. He threw his door closed and headed straight for his desk, pulling out the chair and plopping himself down. His boom box already sat in front of him next to a stack of cassettes. He grabbed an empty one carefully pulling it out of its clear plastic case and popped it into the radio. He picked up the little white card that went along with it and held it in his hands.

“What the fuck am I supposed to put on here?” He mumbled to himself.

The idea of making a mixtape to confess his feelings to Eddie made perfect sense to him but knowing which songs to put on it did not. Was he supposed to choose sappy love songs? Songs about confessing your undying love? Songs that made you want to slow dance in the rain? Songs about heartbreak? No that wasn’t right.

Richie started shuffling through his stack of tapes, even going as far as looking through a few records for song inspiration. He pulled open his desk drawer and retrieved an old notepad from inside. He started to make a list of possible songs, scratching out ones that didn’t seem to fit or that Richie felt Eddie wouldn’t enjoy listening to. Eventually he was able to get the list down to twelve carefully selected songs.

“God, I hope this works.” Richie said out loud. He reached for the first tape, placing it into the stereo to copy onto the empty one for Eddie.

An hour later, Richie had a complete mixtape for Eddie. He had written all of the songs on the white note card and on the opposite side he had printed _For Eds_ in red marker as neat as he could with his sloppy handwriting.

Richie grabbed his backpack and unzipped the front pocket, slipping the tape inside before zipping it shut to keep the cassette safe and secure until the next day. He then proceeded to take out his school books to get a start on his homework for the night.

-

Richie couldn’t remember exactly when he had removed the tape from his backpack but he was currently fiddling with it in the front pouch of his hoodie, his fingers running back and forth over the bumpy side of its case. He had been trying to workv up the courage to give Eddie the tape all day, originally planning on giving it to him at lunch. It was now final period and it still sat close within his grasp.

“Just give it to him after the final bell.” Beverly whispered to Richie while the teacher had her back turned towards the class. “You two always walk home together anyways.”

Richie nodded his head. “Yeah, okay.” He swallowed while his hand gripped the tape tightly.

The final bell rang, and Richie practically ran to his locker where he and Eddie always met after school. He quickly stored away the books he didn’t need for the night and slammed his locker shut.

“Hey stranger!” Richie practically jumped when Eddie greeted him, his mind somewhere else.

“Hey Eds!” He replied. “Ready to go?”

Eddie nodded. “Don’t call me that you loser.” He teased, and Richie bumped him slightly with his elbow. The two fell into step beside each other, heading towards the doors that lead outside.

The two walked home like normal, making conversation about anything and everything like they always did. Eddie only had to scold Richie twice for saying something stupid (one comment about his mother and another about Stan and Bill). The walk went by fast and before he knew it, Richie was standing at the end of Eddie’s driveway looking down at the smaller boy in front of him.

“You didn’t come by last night.” Eddie said in a small voice, changing the tone of their conversation entirely.

Richie nodded. His hand still resided in the pocket of his hoodie, firmly grasping the mixtape. Now was the best opportunity as ever to give it Eddie.

“I know, I uh… I was working on this.” Richie pulled his hand out of his sweater and presented the tape to Eddie.

Eddie eyed the tape in Richie’s hand. He slowly reached out and took it from him. “What is it?”

“It’s a tape. A mixtape for you that I made last night.” Richie explained. Eddie went to open it up, but Richie reached out to stop him. “Just give it a listen and then maybe listen to it again just to be sure okay?” Eddie didn’t understand what he had to be sure of, but he nodded anyways. “I’ll come by tonight okay? I want to know what you think.” And with that Richie headed off down Eddie’s street and towards his own.

Eddie stood at the end of his driveway and watched as Richie walked away. Once he was no longer in sight, he looked down at the tape in his hand and flipped it over. _For Eds_ the white note card read. The nickname made Eddie smile as he headed inside his house straight for his room.

He pulled out his Walkman and tossed out the tape inside to replace it with the one Richie had given him. He untangled his headphones and placed them over his ears as he flopped down onto his bed. Eddie pressed play and closed his eyes as he let the music start.

He recognized a few songs from other tapes that Richie had played for him and the other losers while hanging out but hearing them again they sounded different, as if they had a whole new meaning now because he had given them to him. They were songs of romance, lovers and soulmates of sorts. Eddie listened to the lyrics of each song carefully, trying to understand what Richie meant when telling him to be sure of the songs. The songs fit into each other despite not all being the same and Eddie smiled as a song by The Cure faded into one by Cyndi Lauper knowing that Richie put that one on there just for him.

Before he knew it, the tape came to an end with a soft _click_ and Eddie frowned wishing that there was more. He picked up the case, removing the notecard to read over the song list that Richie had scribbled inside. His eyes scanned the words, noticing a theme within them. They were all love songs, love songs that Richie had picked for Eddie.

Eddie sat up in his bed and removed his headphones. Thoughts were spinning around in his head, questions flying around his brain.

“Richie likes me.” He whispered softly as if he was telling himself a secret. _Richie loves you_ echoed in his mind and the idea didn’t seem so far-fetched. “Richie likes me.” Eddie repeated again as a smile crept onto his face.

He put his headphones on once more and rewound the tape to listen to it again.

-

It was around ten fifteen when Richie climbed through Eddie’s bedroom window with a soft thud. Eddie was sitting on his bed holding the Richie’s mixtape in his hands, spinning it around with his fingers.

“Evening, Eddie Spaghetti!” Richie greeted as he removed his shoes and padded over towards Eddie.

Eddie let the ridiculous nickname slide, he had better things he wanted to talk about. He held up the tape. “I listened to it like you said to.” Eddie stated. “Twice and then a third time just to be sure.”

Richie’s eyes were wide behind his thick glasses. He nodded his head slowly at Eddie. “What are you sure of?” He asked cautiously.

“That you love me.” Eddie answered. He paused for a moment and took a deep breath. “And that I love you too, I guess.”

“You guess?” Richie questioned with a confused face.

Eddie inhaled sharply, worried that he had said the wrong thing. “I mean, only if that’s what you wanted me to be sure of, but if I was wrong then completely disregard the second half of the statement.” Eddie stammered. He could feel his heart beat get faster and almost reached for his inhaler before remembering that he didn’t actually have asthma.

Richie stared at Eddie for a few seconds before a smile took over his face and he reached out to grab Eddie’s hand to hold in his. “Don’t worry, you are right.”

“I am?” Eddie asked with hope.

Richie nodded exuberantly. “Yeah you are, I love you.” He smiled as he noticed a smile light up on Eddie’s face as well.

“That’s a relief,” Eddie exhaled. “You had me worried that I was listening to a bromance mixtape.” Eddie giggled pulling a laugh out of Richie. “You really had to make me a tape to confess your feelings for me? That’s like twice the work, Rich!” Eddie explained.

“Yeah it kind of was, but we both know I’m shit with words.” Richie said. “I’m glad you understood what I was trying to say though. Did you like the songs?” He asked.

Eddie nodded. “Yeah, I did, especially the Cyndi Lauper one!”

“I knew you’d like that one!” Richie teased, and he gave Eddie’s hand a slight squeeze.

“I loved it.” Eddie said fondly while looking into Richie’s eyes. “And I love you too, even if you are super extra.”

Richie laughed but there was a warm feeling in his heart nonetheless. “Only for you, Eds.” He said before leaning forward to place a shy kiss on Eddie’s lips. When he felt Eddie lean into the kiss too he ran his hands up to his face, lightly cupping his cheeks.

“I told you to quit calling me that.” Eddie smiled as he pulled away from Richie.

Richie let out a small laugh, a smile plastered on his face. “Just kiss me, Eddie.” He said before pulling him back in and he smiled into the kiss as he felt Eddie place his hands in his hair curls, bringing him even closer.

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on tumblr @ totaltozier


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